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Lifestyle

You’re The Only One Who Can Be You

July 24, 2018

In the past three weeks, there has been a dramatic shift in my perspective. My incredibly stressful class is over, I went on vacation for two weeks, I was invited to read and study with a Lay Marianist community, and I developed a deep love for Mr. Rogers.

These four things have changed me in a profound way. But the thing that has had the biggest impact on me, is my newfound love of Fred Rogers.

In a world where we see so much hate, destruction, and death, this calm and gentle soul ushered generations of kids into a safe space, where they knew they were loved and cherished, and they were able to just be kids.

Going back to watch his work as an adult at first seemed silly. Why would I do such a thing? There were plenty of other shows that I could watch.

It all started in May. I had been suffering a wicked bout of insomnia for four months at this point, and I had watched 17 seasons of Law & Order SVU, and every episode of The Great British Bake-off that Netflix had to offer. At this point I knew I needed something different, but I also knew none of my shows (looking at you Eric Kripke, and Shonda) would be back until the fall. I was running on empty. Getting 4 hours of sleep a night because my mind was racing at the prospect of not getting a perfect grade after all of my hard work… or editing papers that just came in so late I had to stay up all night to get it done. How could I possibly find a show that would help me to get even just one more hour of sleep?

I started scrolling through Amazon Prime and saw that kind and familiar face that I had seen as a kid. I chuckled to myself and kept scrolling, but something told me to go back.

I hit play, and those familiar first notes trickled through the speaker… “It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood…”. The first night I watched 5 hours of Mr. Rogers and let me tell you what- that dude tackled some real issues in his day. I sat in bed, in awe of his courage and amazed that he could do that all with a slow melodic voice. And don’t even get me started on the puppets- how does one person have that many voices stored up in their imagination?

As the days went on, I slowly made it through fewer episodes- that sweet melody lulling me to sleep, or Fred Rogers’ intelligent and kind voice helping me to face some big scary things that we see in the news even still today (who knew he would be so timeless?). This man gave me back my sanity. I started sleeping 5, 6, and 7 hours a night, worrying less, and making better use of my time.

I got an A in both of those really crazy classes. My hard work paid off, and I then got to go on vacation with my family to celebrate my parent’s 30th anniversary. I downloaded a book on my kindle about Mr. Rogers, and set off to learn more about this person that had already changed my life by helping me to sleep a little easier at night.

I recently turned 26. Roughly 3 days before that happened, I woke up at complete peace in my life. I had established a routine that I was following (morning meditation and scripture, carefully planning my weeks, adding in chores and getting dressed up in the mornings). I was swearing less (not completely… yet, but I’m hopeful lol). I was being far less judgmental. And I finally felt like I had nothing left to prove. I was the most alive I had been in years.

As I reflected on this series of events I realized that for the first time in my life, I have had a deep and profound conversion. Through the gentle care of a television neighbor, I have come to see that God is in the slow moments. He doesn’t want me to rush. He doesn’t want me to be stressed or in emotional pain.

I decided I was going to be like Mr. Rogers, and my life changed dramatically, for the better. My time seems to stretch endlessly, and my days are filled with joy and gratitude. My errands don’t take nearly as long, I forget things a lot less frequently these days, and I am completely at peace.

6 months ago, I would have told you I didn’t even remember what peace was. Today, I can’t remember what it was like to live in a complete world of stress. It is so crazy to me that I would let my need to prove I was the best, I was worthy and I was what they wanted after all, slowly kill my joy.

I was worthy all along. I have gifts and talents that no one else on this earth possesses in the exact measure that I have them. Sure- they aren’t great big magical things, but they are my talents. I taught a one year old how to say cock-a-doodle-doo. I also taught him that if he throws hummus on the ground, we have to clean it up. I lead music for a holy hour that sent chills down my spine as the students I was playing for sang the bridge to the song by themselves. I wrote a thank you note that established what will be a life long connection.

These things are all seemingly small. But in my life- these are ways that I met God in my day to day interactions.

And I never want to stop. I want to take each day as Mr. Rogers would have taken it- with grace and patience, stopping to recognize that sometimes the small things are what make us the best people we can be.

If you had the opportunity to live a life with less stress and more joy would you?

It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood of joy and peace. I’ve always wanted a neighbor just like you! Let’s make the most of this beautiful day, since you’re still here reading this, I might as well say- won’t you be my neighbor?

Lifestyle

When the Instagram Feed Suffers

July 6, 2018

An encounter with beauty stirs something deep in my soul. A longing for a continued encounter with the infinite goodness that I have just experienced.

And isn’t this how it is all supposed to work out? WiFi has been limited on this trip, and I have honestly loved every second of it. Sure, my instagram feed has “suffered” but the pictures I do have are unreal. The experience I am having are even more liberating. Time spent with family members, catching up with and learning more about them through chance encounters- a bad sunburn led to my brother and I doing an incredible hike together and loving every second of it. Standing on the back deck with my dad waiting for the ship to set sail and feeling immense, immense gratitude at the first that has been given to me. Sitting at the pool with my mom while we cheer for my sister playing volleyball in the pool.

UNESCO World Heritage Sites with thousands of tiny pieces creating profoundly moving mosaics in a mausoleum. A church with a beautiful devotion to our lady. Sitting on the deck and watching the deep blue water go by.

This is only the first half of an incredible adventure. I cannot wait for the second half, and to share all of the pictures when I get home- keeping this encounter with beauty going for a long time.

Lifestyle

Hello From The Other Side of the Pond

July 2, 2018

Greetings from Venice!

I can’t believe its finally here… this trip we have been dreaming about and longing for for 463 days… is HERE!

Quickly stopping by to let you know that I’ve missed you, and now that death class is over (Hey! I got an A!) I am really excited to get back to our regularly scheduled posting… after this wild adventure with my family.

Now for the fun part: when I was living in Austria, I  kept a blog detailing all of my adventures and it was a really neat, living, breathing journal of all of the incredible opportunities that I had been given,

For the next 9 days, I would love to share the moments great and small that are going to make this trip with my family amazing.

There will be pictures 😉

Lifestyle

Becoming My Best Self

June 5, 2018

As you may or may not yet know, I am a fairly particular person.

I prefer Starbucks coffee. I need a 5 blade razor. I love polo button down shirts. I will never go back to a non apple product for a computer.

I am really conscious of what I put on my skin. Safe, natural, clean beauty products and sun safety.

I am really conscious of what I put in my body. When I am on my A game, I can Primal Blueprint Diet with the rest of them.

One thing I am really not good at? What I do for my body. Let me put it frankly: I hate working out with the passion of 1000 suns. I find it absolutely dreadful. If I am running, you better run too, because something is chasing me!

So… I am embarking on a revamp of my relationship with food, and the way I treat my body.

So many times I have tried to “hack” my body with quick, intense workouts meant to give extreme results. I always give up, more dejected than the time before because I just can’t seem to stick it out. I also have a hard time with diets that give you portion control or sever limits- I am not trying to lose weight, just treat my body better, and feed it better things than chicken nuggets okay?!

Enter The 2b Mindset. Listen. I have tried other Beachbody Workouts (^^^ahem) and I have not been able to get myself to full capacity doing these programs. My sister does CrossFit and is awesome and says then can scale it… but I hate working out remember?

The 2b Mindset seems to be all about changing ones relationship with food and the way it affects once’s body, with emphasis on eating foods that are better for you, and no guilt for that Cadbury Milk Chocolate Caramel straight from England (I’m looking at you babysitting house!).

I am posting this here because I want to hold myself accountable. I want to eat better, and try to get some kind of allotted and specific physical activity in at least 3 days a week- even if they aren’t those body hack workouts that will get me a six pack in time for my cruise =p .

For the next few months (and hopefully forever after that!) I will be spending time to really examine how I treat my body, and how I can treat it better.

How do you do these things? How do you make time for self care? Personal Development? Honestly, give me all the secrets because I really need them here 😉

Lifestyle

Monthly Subscription Planner? Sign Me Up!

May 29, 2018

So it’s not really a secret that I am a big fan of planners.

I live by the planner. If an appointment is in my planner, I will be sure to attend to it, and I will be all sorts of disoriented if I don’t meet you.

I also get all out of whack if I am not able to systematically cross out each and every item on my to do list in my planner each and every day.

Most of this stems from a psychiatrist once telling me that I could manage my ADHD without medication.

And you know what? … It totally worked! As long as I can keep track of my day to day goings on in a planner, I am able to calmly focus each part of my day and with intention get through each task I have planned.

I am always on the hunt for the perfect planner. Each year, this evolves, and I get closer to figuring out what it exactly looks like. For a lot of years, I used a plain moleskin planner (though this did not leave a ton of space for a multitude of tasks- just 5 or 6. I often have upwards of 20 tasks to accomplish in a day!).

I tried Erin Condren (something didn’t sit right) and gave the Blessed is She Planner a try (gosh I wish this had been the perfect planner for me- it is so well thought out, and literally has everything- it just didn’t sit well with me, and what I was looking for to help me manage my ADHD. The new one was just released, and I honestly wanted to buy it so much, but really had to convince myself to give something else a shot- I could always come back if it was truly the best planner for me).

I ultimately decided I would go back to moleskine when something caught my eye and really intrigued me.

Have you ever heard of Silk + Sonder?

This is a monthly subscription service that sends you a new planner each month- but it is so much more than a planner. It’s a habit tracker, a carefully curated bullet journal, a gratitude journal, and a beautiful work of art to boot.

I was skeptical- how could this really be beneficial to someone who needed to book things four months in advance?

You. Guys. This planner/journal combo has been pretty freakin awesome! It has helped me to stop and reflect on not only my day, but also my goals, my current habits, and the habits I want to change. It inspires me, and is honestly a delight to carry around. It is thin enough to fit in my iPad case, and lighter than anything I have ever brought around. It has enough spaces for all of the little things that I have to do, gives me room to be creative and also keeps me focused on mindfulness and gratitude.

I just received my June issue, and honestly? I am obsessed. It is so stinkin cute! So summery, and such a delight to get to put in my bag each day.

Click here to check out this awesome company!

Lifestyle

An Encounter With Beauty: From Where She Sits Podcast

May 22, 2018

I am a big believer in women supporting women. As a woman trying to someday enter a mostly male dominated field, I believe in this notion on a really deep level.

So when my friend from high school announced she would be putting out a podcast, I was over the moon. I couldn’t wait to see what she had to say.

Little did I know that this podcast would be life changing.

In the four hours I have listened to Izzy and Christie share their hearts, something has changed in me, for the better.

It takes guts to be willing to share your down days, or the parts of yourself that you are working on with your insta fam or on your snap story. But it takes a deep and profound courage to speak about these moments, knowing that they are recorded forever and people will be listening to you, often without you ever knowing who they are.

I obviously can very easily relate to Izzy as she shares her story as a millennial just trying to survive this crazy life (after all, we did go to school together, and we are the same age). But I get this really crazy feeling of relief when Christie comes back and shares her input on the situation. It’s like something deep in my soul is shouting “It’s gonna be okay! Look! She did it! She made it happen!”

In each hour long episode, I find myself nodding along, and saying “ YEAH!”, as if Izzy and Christie could hear me saying I am in the trenches with you. You get me! I get you! (Of course, this is not the case at all. They clearly can’t hear me saying these things out loud in my car. And the people driving past me on Route 25 in the morning are probably really disconcerted by my exuberant nods… I digress.)

Today’s episode was one I could really relate to on an incredibly deep level.

Those of you who have been following along since The Full Pursuit started know that I am a full believer in encountering God in my every day interactions. This is most often found in a true encounter with beauty. A flower that my babysitting kids pick up for me at the baseball field. A chapter in a book that I underlined every single line of. A visit with my mom. A linen dress at TJ Maxx. A song that brought tears to my eyes, or a movie that moves me to my core.

As I listened to Izzy and Christie explain their experiences with faith and belief, I saw a constant theme of an encounter with something beautiful- a trip to the ballet, a calming meditation, and a white butterfly.

Faith can look so different for so many people. But at the core of all of these wrestlings of the heart is desire for our world (the people, places and things we surround ourself with) to be beautiful. And I truly think we were designed with this innate desire because these beautiful things point us back to someone greater than us.

I honestly cannot recommend this podcast enough. It is raw and vulnerable, while simultaneously being down right hilarious. I look forward to new episodes, and I hope this never stops.

From Where She Sits is a thing of beauty. And this world needs more beauty.

Click here to listen and subscribe. You won’t regret it.

You can find them on Instagram at:

@fwsspodcast

@fromwhereizzysits

@fromwherechristiesits

Let me know what you think 🙂

Lifestyle

Nothing More & Nothing Less

April 23, 2018

Oh friends. I did a silly thing today.

Today, I told one of my dearest friends that I was finally okay with whatever God had in store for me this upcoming year.

WHY would I ever do that?

Do you ever have that moment, where you feel complete peace and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM out of seemingly nowhere, a self doubt stronger than you’ve ever known creeps in and you’re in tears faster than you can say “I’m okay”.

No? Just me?

Okay, well… that’s where I am right now. There is a pretty big part of me that is really excited for this new adventure- to see what it is exactly that the Lord has planned for me.

There’s also a part of me that is *loudly* shouting; THIS IS NOT A PART OF THE PLAN. YOU ARE RUINING THE PLAN. MAYDAY. MAYDAY. GET IT TOGETHER.

And honestly, I wish I had an answer for you. I wish I knew what the heck I was doing, and if this trusting in God’s plan thing was really going to work after all.

But I have no idea. Right now, I feel like I am stuck between two phases of life. Older than the typical college grad, probably should have a job. Younger than all my friends who have three kids, but married for Almost three years without kids.

I am in no man’s land, and am figuring it out.

How was I so happy and confident this morning, then all of a sudden was doubting everything I was doing by 6PM?

Life.

Happy Monday folks.

Honestly, something tells me I will never not be in a phase of trying to figure my life out.

10 years ago, it was what college should I go to, what would my major be?

5 years ago, it was how would I ever find a guy who wasn’t the worst?

My track record has been pretty good so far in winding up just where I needed to be. 10 years later I am almost done with a Masters in Business Administration. 5 years later I am married to an incredible man.

So maybe I don’t have the answers right now. But maybe I will also look back in 5 or 10 years and know that this moment was the one that launched me into greatness.

I only have to know the plan for tomorrow. No more. No less.

And ultimately?

I am going to be okay.

Lifestyle

When Change is Good

April 16, 2018

I have realized something recently. I am a creature of habit.

House Blend coffee with half and half every morning.

Apple Products for life.

Find one pair of jeans that fits? QUICK! Buy every single color because you can never find jeans that simultaneously cover your booty and your ankles.

Never switch your planner. No matter how beautiful the new planner looks, or how much you want to be even more organized, you will always go back to the OG black, hardcover moleskin.

These things seem trivial and quite frankly, they are. But they are indicative of a deeper personality trait that I seem to have.

I like an established routine, and sometimes often I have trouble with changes to my routine.

Then I read an instagram post from an account called One Hail Mary at a Time. If you’ve never heard of her, click here to check her out!  In this post on Instagram, she basically said that her and her husband will evaluate where they are in life and if something isn’t working, they make the change to what is going to be best for them.

And somewhere, deep in the recesses of my soul, I knew I needed to make a change that was bigger than just my planner or my morning beverage choices. I needed to make a change that would bring peace to the incredibly weary heart I have been carrying around inside of me.

I have known this for a long time now, and this instagram post, coupled with a bible study of Esther really gave me the courage to start the process of making the changes I need to make to be the best version of myself, the version of myself that God wants me to be.

In the spirit of authenticity that this blog has come to embody, I just wanted to admit that this is hard for me. It’s all still really new, but I am coming to ask for prayers as I start this new journey, and try to figure out what exactly it is I am supposed to do next.

Between the pursuit of a masters degree, a trip to the ER and a retreat that I MC’d, a lot has happened in the past four months of this year 2018.

Each of these events has left a mark on my soul, and has stirred in me a new desire to give back to the world in a better way than I was.

I’m sure as time goes on, I will have the opportunity to tell you more about all these big changes, but for now, throw up an extra Hail Mary for me if you think about it.

I’ll be praying for you as well.

 

Lifestyle

Spring Has Almost Sprung!

April 10, 2018

Hello Friends!

I have been waiting for spring like a kid waits for Santa Clause on Christmas Eve. Honestly any time I see a blue sky I am like oh great its gonna be warm now?! Okay?! Okay!

Then it’s still cold and miserable and generally snows about 3 seconds later.

I am SO ready for spring. I am ready for flowers and birds chirping and sunshine and those sweet few weeks where it’s not yet too hot, but you also only need a sweatshirt to be comfortable outside.

Spring just brings about a sense of renewal. And with this longing for spring, I have been trying to bring about renewal in many places in my life.

Cleaning my house. Doing my homework in the daylight hours. Eating a primal diet again. Setting up dinner parties with friends. Celebrating victories as they come (640 I am looking at you!). But with all this refreshed zeal for life, there came a dreaded realization.

My MacBook has begun its slow descent into its next phase of life.

That trusty MacBook Air has seen me through a lot. Finishing my undergraduate degree. Most of a masters degree. A tumble out of the hands of clumsy TSA agent.

But it’s poor brain just can’t handle another round of 35 page papers. As I began to think about its ultimate demise and what would be the next best option to finish out my MBA and be able to do all the things that I love to do, I fell down the rabbit hole.

Should I go for the desktop? Another MacBook? Certainly an apple product. After a decade of using apple products, I was never going to be able to make the switch to a PC without losing my ever loving mind.

I thought I had settled on buying the rose gold MacBook. It was familiar, seemed more portable than my MacBook Air and of course, it was pink.

But then I pulled up YouTube and did a bad thing. I searched for: iPad Pro vs. MacBook.

Could I really replace my computer with a tablet? What about the full keyboard? A lack of a mouse?

I started to think about what I really use the computer for, and realized that I was mostly responding to emails all day, blogging a couple times a week and perusing social media.

I edit documents. I send them back for approval.

Once school is done, it becomes even less. Did I really need another computer? Would the iPad suffice?

After many more hours of research and playing around on my mom’s iPad Pro for a day, I decided the iPad would more than likely be the right move.

So here I sit on my mom’s couch, iPad in tow with a magic keyboard on my lap and an Apple Pencil by my side, writing to you about what my new workflow is going to look like.

The Verdict: so far so good (though I have only been at this for 48 hours so let’s check back in 6 months).

I have a really  good feeling about this new set up. Ultra portable. Ultra Versatile. Pretty in Pink. Simultaneously a lightweight “computer” and ultimate portable Netflix viewing machine, this seems like a good fit.

Now- for all you tablet hating computer purists, I will say that old faithful will remain on my desk at home. Microsoft office will be alive and well on the MacBook Air that sits at home, and when I need to cry real tears about excel it will be there for me. I plan to back a lot of things up onto an external hard drive and then let that little computer that could just quietly work it’s way into retired life.

As the season changes and the sun starts to make its debut, how are you embracing this renewal? Big and small, I want to hear them all!

 

Lifestyle

Welcome to Holy Week

March 26, 2018

Wow. Palm Sunday is always an incredible up and down of emotions for me. As I listen to the readings and watch the gospel unfold, I begin to see how my life follows the events on a regular basis.

When things are good I praise Him, welcoming Him into my life.

When things are bad, I turn my back on Him- no He is not the one that has done such good for me.

I deny knowing Him when I want to have the courage to  say otherwise.

I stand in the crowd and yell crucify Him when I choose myself over an ultimate good.

How many times have I shook my fists at the sky these past three months shouting from the depths of my soul: MY GOD MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME. Father let this cup pass from me. I am done. I cant possibly handle any more. Please. Make it stop.

But Jesus follows this sentence with one that I always forget to utter as I grovel in despair: not my will, but yours be done.

See? I toldya. All. Of. The. Feels.

Friends, as we enter holy week together, let us continue to strive to live a life of abundance.

I am sure you are only too excited to stop seeing these posts. We can go back to our regularly schedule programming of why my new face wash is just awesome. Or how I had to go back to my old school planner because my brain is like hardwired to only work a specific way.

But bear with me for just one more week.

Here’s a cute reminder as we approach these holiest of days to continually cry out: not my will, but yours be done.