Hey There Friend!
How are you doing? Gosh it’s been a long time since I’ve stopped by this neck of the woods. I really miss being here, and always have these great plans to get back on my schedule. And then you know what happens? I have a paper to write. Or I run out of clean underwear and I so desperately need to do laundry that I put the blog on the back burner.
I have been learning a lot about myself lately, and not gonna lie, I have really had to take a deep look at the way I view time.
Those of you who know me in real life, know that I live by my planner. If the appointment/chore/coffee date/ homework assignment/ [insert any number of items here] is not on one of those clean lines in my planner, it may as well not exist at all. You may also know that I have ADHD and that my planner is my main coping mechanism, that has long helped me to be successful in keeping on task.
These things aren’t so bad in and of itself. I have really learned how to manage my time and plan carefully to get everything done. With a major caveat- I severely overestimate how long it will take me to do something. To the point that I won’t take the trash out because for whatever reason I think it is going to take me 25 minutes to do that. Logically I know that this isn’t the case. But small tasks sometimes seem insurmountable to me when they pop up and aren’t in my carefully planned day.
I am currently working on this mental hiccup in a really big way. With baby girl set to arrive in 14 weeks, I know I need to learn how to just take care of things as they come up, because she is not going to fit into a schedule. She is going to BE the schedule. Whatever she needs, she is going to get. And taking out the trash, or sweeping the floor, or putting away my coat are things that will take 10 seconds out of my day, and should be completed as they come up, rather than letting them sit for days or weeks just looming in the background.
But can I also be honest with you? Winter makes all these tasks seem even worse! You mean I have to go out in the cold to take out the trash?! Can’t I just drink a bottomless cup of coffee and read and watch LIVE with Kelly and Ryan? And as I sit there accomplishing some tasks (hey! I did my homework, I wrote those letters, I emailed these people, I took care of those bills) I continuously put off the small chores (emptying the trash, clearing the table, putting away dishes, wiping down counters) that will make my life feel more calm and peaceful because “they can wait till tomorrow”.
The first month of 2019 is coming to a close. I stuck to some of my resolutions. I have completely abandoned others (as is always the case). But as we enter deep into winter and the cold and snow loom heavy in the forecast, I am trying to recommit to self care in the things that aren’t a ton of fun, but bring me deep inner peace.
And I think that I will be having to recommit to these things every day in the hopes that these small tasks will become strong habits in my life. I am going to keep trying to remind myself that 5 minutes now, equals a more peaceful rest of the day.
Cheers to continuing personal growth, to surviving the cold grey winter, and to becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be!