“Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water?” (Numbers 21: 5)
Yeah. this is where I am day in and day out. Sometimes I have glimpses of clarity where I am good with what God is putting me through at this current juncture, but for the most part I am like…. PLEASSSSEEEEEE MAKEEEE IT STOOOOOOOOP.
Am I the only one that feels that way? I can’t be.
Most days I look up at the sky and say I cannot handle this. Why do you think I can handle this? And most days he responds: You can’t handle this. Why do you think you can handle this? Stop trying to take care of everything. Let me take care of it for you.
And yet even though He says this to me, I continue to wander around like a chicken with my head cut off in the hopes that I will be able to figure it out.
You know what happens in the rest of this story? God sends these doubting people a bunch of snakes and they suffer snakebites and some of them die (here Shannon pauses and is like… what.the.heck. but okay hold on there’s more). They then pray to God to save them and he totally does by letting Moses create a staff with a serpent on it that they can look at and be healed.
Now look, I am not looking for some magical object to look at and be healed of my exhaustion, frustration and at times bitterness. But I AM looking to be more like the Israelites in their prayers, asking God to go ahead and help me out here.
I need more of that in my life. Embracing my suffering and asking God to help me when it is in line with His time and when it fits with His plan rather than what fits with MY plan.