“Create a clean heart in me, O God.” (Psalm 51)
Once again I spent a lot of time with this psalm this past week. When you have to write a catchy but simple melody, you find yourself singing this line over and over again.
The beauty of playing for a mass? You get to pray with the readings and the songs you are choosing the whole week before hand. In what other capacity do you get to pray with the mass readings and sing songs that relate to them? I am honestly super lucky.
As we are drawing closer to the end of lent, I am constantly reminded of my need for God.
A few weeks ago, I told God I would say YES to whatever he was asking of me. And here I am a few weeks later, having rescinded my yes feeling miserable. I do not think it is any coincidence that I feel this way.
Even though more often than not I feel alone out in the desert, I still need a God that runs to me and welcomes me back with open arms. I need a God that is merciful and loving, even when I feel that he is stretching me to my breaking point. I need a God who looks me in the eye and asks why I am continuing to do what I do, and if I could be happier if I was listening to what He wanted me to do.
As I was writing a melody for this psalm, I kept begging over and over- Lord, create a clean heart in me. Eliminate my pride. Eliminate my vanity. Make me more like you. Help me to be better.
Those prayers haven’t quite come true yet, but I know that if I keep asking, He will help me to have a clean heart, yearning only for Him.
And tips on how to get there faster? I could surely use some =p.