“In your hands is my destiny; rescue me from the clutches of my enemies and prosecutors.” (Psalm 31)
You know, lately I have been grappling with the idea that I do not have the power to write my own destiny. Sure, I have free will and the ability to make choices that affect my life along the way, but I don’t get that final say.
This goes against everything they tells us about in every movie and book. Only you can choose your destiny. Only you can make yourself great. We’re all in this together. *cues massive dance scene*.
But what if this isn’t right?
What if my destiny was in the hands of the creator from the start?
I know that my destiny is communion with Him for eternity. If I know this to be fact, how in the world could little old me possible be the one to write that fate? SPOILER ALERT: I cannot write my own destiny.
I’ve recently been coming face to face with this reality, and am trying to learn how to accept this fact.
God has a bigger plan for me.
My worth is found in His love, not in what I can accomplish or what I have done.
If I say yes to Him, I am far more likely to start moving on the path of least resistance towards that final end goal, as opposed to this rocky and bumpy path I have put myself on by trying to be a “self made woman”.
There is freedom in saying yes to the things that make me feel fully alive. It doesn’t matter what society says. It matters that I always remember that my worth is found in Him, and that if I do what He asks, I will always be happier. Sure, there will be times where it is not easy. But there is always profound happiness in the aftermath of a great trial. I always realize that I am stronger than I thought, and braver than I could have imagined.
Learning to let go and trust the process is a really difficult thing for me, but seems to be a recurring theme this lent. I guess my prayer still must be: Jesus, I trust in You.