” A clean heart create for me O God, and a steadfast spirit renew within me.” Psalm 51
Happy Ash Wednesday. It seems like a sick joke to have a day of fasting on Valentine’s Day… no?
Today there will be no snacks (buh bye chocolate) and no meat (there goes that lovely steak dinner idea) and instead we will save our big meal for a pasta dinner of some sort that I will concoct after class tonite.
On this day we are normally surrounded by cutesy hearts and sappy love posts.
But today I find myself thinking of a deep and profound love. A love that takes on death, that I may live. Today I am reminded of how small I am, in the grand scheme of things, yet also that He longs for my heart.
The permanent room mate and I were discussing our general busyness today, and how for the most part, it stems from a desire to surround ourselves with community.
Sure we could take that Thursday night to clean the house. OR we could take it to see the people we love since it’s the only free night of the week between classes, late night work schedules, and bible study. We could block off a whole weekends to just clean the house. But then we wouldn’t have the flexibility to see our nephew in a few weeks or to send the PR off for a bachelor party this weekend. We wouldn’t have the flexibility for family trips to Texas or Galentines day parties on a Friday night.
While I was at children’s mass today to receive my ashes, I was reflecting on all of these things- the people in our lives, the beautiful chaos of our house, and the love of a Father that longs for your heart even when you don’t want to give it.
All of these things add up to a truly meaningful life. We find ourselves filled up by the people we love, and hopefully we are doing the same for them. We have a roof over our heads, and food for our bellies. We have family that loves us and longs to spend time with us. We have adventures great and small. Even though it’s busy and sometimes feels like it just won’t stop, we have a life that is well lived.
And I can’t say I would change much.
There will always be commitments. There will always be chores. And most importantly, there will always be people to love.
Today I pray that God creates in me a steadfast spirit. A spirit that is strong enough to continue to make every step of my day a way to give praise to that Father who loves me so much. A spirit that is joyful even when it is tired. A spirit that loves without counting the cost. A spirit that is constantly ready to give her heart back to her creator.
This is a rare sight: our wall of life and a bed that is made =p we continuously add pictures of each of our beautiful friends. This wall is a consistent reminder of the beautiful community we are a part of, and of all the love that we share. The bed being made… sheer dumb luck 😉