“Maybe in this period I did ‘everything,’ but I lost myself. This ‘everything’ without Christ is emptiness. In fact, just as He gives everything to me, so He asks everything of me. I realized that I was living Christianity without Christ.” (Davide Prosperi, Page One: At The Beginning It Was Not So!)
Do you ever have the feeling something was written exactly for you, in this exact moment that you are living?
This line from Page One is that feeling for me. For the past year I have gone to mass every Sunday, even gone to mass a couple of days a week if I can swing it. I have purchased multiple journals, I read daily reflections and attended a bible study. I volunteered at a youth group, started picking up holy hours all over the place and went through the motions of what I believed a “really good Christian” should look like.
But as I went through these motions, I started to feel dead inside. I am exhausted. I am burnt out and I most certainly have been living Christianity without Christ. That sounds like an oxymoron. You can’t do that… can you? I thought the same thing, but upon reading this small part of this article, I realized that is exactly what I have been doing.
This is a major wake up call for me. I need to be encountering Christ each and every day, and honestly? It makes so much sense that this is what I am lacking. I have been so focused on helping others to find Christ, and letting him use me as a vehicle for that encounter, that I have forgotten to encounter Him myself.
School is stressful. Work is a lot. But this weekend, I am going to try to get back to the basics of this thing we call christianity. That is the whole point of this blog isn’t it? To seek beauty in the common, to find Him in all things, to make my life real and full and lovely.
This weekend will be about slowing down. Finding His love in my cup of morning coffee. Feeling his presence as He helps me to make the time to do my homework, and spend time in the office and do all of my laundry. Establishing a routine and practicing self care so that I am in a good place mentally, physically and spiritually. This weekend is going to be a reset.
I don’t want to live Christianity without Christ any more. I want to find Him in all my great big adventures, and in all my mundane everyday tasks. And I hope that in finding Him in everything again I can better serve Him and follow His plan for my life.
There are so many things that are unknown. But there is so much peace in knowing that He has it all under control, and all I have to do is find Him.
Cheers to the long weekend, and to rekindling a sense of Him in your life.