“The spouses are two human subjects, an I and a you, a man and a woman, who decide to walk together towards destiny, towards happiness. The way they approach their relationship, the way they conceive of it, depends on the image each on has of their own life, of their self realization.” (Carron, Disarming Beauty)
I am instantly transported to the day our pre-cana test results came back in while reading this passage. Our priest was kind and gentle. I had done the ten hour drive to Austinburg, Ohio and we were in his office ready to go over results.
Most of our answers were compatible- sometimes having the same one, sometimes interpreting the wording differently. One question we had different answers for stands out in my memory.
“Marrying my partner will solve all my problems.” The priest looked up, and invited us to share why we had put what we had put. He did seem alarmed, but he wanted to hear us out.
“Absolutely not!“ I said with a fervor not yet seen in the conversation. ” I was made for greatness, I was made for everything. I want EVERYTHING. Sean could not possibly fill the void in my heart, and I would never expect him to do so. How horrible it would be for me to rely on him to fill something that only HE could fill for me.”
Father chuckled and asked Sean why he had answered “yes”. Sean told him that he had put yest because his greatest problem was not having the life partner needed to achieve complete happiness.
Different words. Same answer. Sean and I run at life head first, together. Sometimes one of us has to slow the pace so the other can keep up, and sometimes one of us has to kick the other into high gear but ultimately, we are heading in the same direction.
Marriage is a beautiful, sacrificial and gloriously strange experience. To have someone care about you so deeply they long for your deepest happiness is our of this world. And to reciprocate those feelings is at the same time the easiest thing to do and the most impossibly difficult thing I have done.
But having a common goal allows us to keep running after it TOGETHER.
Have you ever experienced this?